I Could not Work in Catering ...

presently ... had to adjust my internal temperature again ... whilst busy in the kitchen; cooking home cooked food today ... on good, good times I slow cook food keeping a warm, aromatic ambiance missing for so long in this home ...  I especially attempt in doing so; on special times and seasonal days ... even without my family now ... 

Piecing together more of

My life today ...

This weekend there will be shadows only of what this home would have normally being doing this time of year with half terms and Halloween ...

A Sour Note

Echoes through today ... It is not surprising with attending an hospital appointment and the constant reminder of who is no longer here in my life

And the strangers who now supposed to support me

Aromas past

... Wafting through my home today imaginary from the recesses of the mind ... First this morning was the distinct aroma of my late father-in-laws pipe tobacco 

And just a moment ago my paternal granny's scrumptious, delicious coffee cake and from the cafe I used to work in mingling with each other .. 

Prematurely denied ...

Dear Diary 

Of the one person I was supposed to be with in these times whether as I am now with an unknown health dilemma to sharing our daughters graduation this last Summer

Thankfully with death ... It is never final ... a different peace ensues ...  A warmth anew enraps me ...

Christmas Past Present and Future

Dear Diary 

The gradually build up for the vile season since August ... and leaking into the post that dropped through the letterbox today ... 

Christmas now has different connotations for me, since that longest day, one Winter in the 21st Century, but in the squalor that looked like we lived in the medieval times. It was from inaction of all agencies involved, just before the disastrous end to my husbands life from a long series of unfortunate and quite life altering events; and a ripple effect from neglect of those who are supposed to look out for us in our most dire moments. And no excuse, after a major multi-agency meeting. There was the lack of communication, co-ordination and more.

The twinkling array of glittery items that is beginning to appear all around us on the TV, in the shops, in conversations and more ... gives a different meaning to what Christmas is actually about ..

Reflecting ...

Dear Diary

I am in reflection mode of a life and not just cos of a empty nest. There comes times in my life where I need to make the most of the now,  while I try and look to a future, more planned.

This happened too, towards the end days of my husband's life, change was needed and to break free of the constraints that happened on me ... Events were to get in the way of those plans which never happened and was to be so unfinished, little knowing new ones would be formed, as a new widow with an empty nest of  three months ...